Does the holiday season stress you out or cause anxiety? If so, read this to learn how to navigate today’s most chaotic time of the year.
The holidays are a time for family, but it can also be a stressful time if you have family members who behave aggressively or are outright disrespectful. It can also be hard to know how to set boundaries with these people, especially if they don’t listen or respect your wishes but there are some ways to do it. Continue reading to get your holiday toolbox together.
It's the holiday season that’s coming soon, and that means it's time to enjoy time with family members and friends. However, some family members can be overly aggressive, difficult to deal with, and hostile overall. This is especially true of relatives who are used to getting their way even when it may not be what the other person wants. This can make for a very uncomfortable and unpleasant experience during this time of year.
If you’ve experienced this in the past, you’re not alone. Here are some tips on how you can set boundaries with aggressive, hostile, or passive-aggressive family members this holiday season.
Take time to reflect on any possible scenarios prior to attending any holiday gathering.
First, you should take time to reflect on what you want and need from your family members this holiday season. You may want them to stop calling or texting you so often, or maybe you just want them to stop talking about politics at the dinner table. If so, then it’s time to establish boundaries.
Next, think about how you can ask for what you need without being too demanding or confrontational. You could try saying something like "I would really love it if we could have a more relaxed conversation this year."
Finally, if someone is acting aggressive or hostile towards you, then it is time to set boundaries and tell that person exactly what they are allowed to do in a direct tone.
Prepare for the worst-case scenario with those difficult family members during the holidays.
When you’re prepared for any and every situation, you won’t be caught off guard, and you will know how to handle such a family member. Making preparations now will give you the tools you need to be able to wisely and lovingly handle any situation with grace and ease.
Make sure you have time for yourself every day. One of the most important aspects of a healthy and fulfilling life is taking time for yourself.
From planning vacations to spending 10 minutes in the morning reading to taking a walk in the afternoon, taking time for yourself is an integral part of living a happy and healthy life.
Let your family know what events you plan to attend. Don’t feel obligated to attend them all.
The holiday season can be overwhelming when you have to attend a variety of work and family events. So to make the season more manageable, make a list of the family gatherings you plan to attend. And be sure to let them know in advance. This will help set their expectations.
Be firm but polite when setting limits.
Limit the amount of time you plan to spend at each family gathering and let them know prior to the occasion. This will help set the expectation that you are not going to hang around all day or evening.
Leave the room if a family member refuses to stop arguing with you or refuses to listen when you try changing the subject of conversation.
When you engage in such an action, both of you can escalate which can lead to a fight. Strive to remain calm and be the bigger person by walking away from the situation.
Don't let your family guilt trip you into doing something you don't want to do or attending an event that you don’t want to attend.
When it comes to family guilt trips, there is one universal truth: family members will do everything they can to get you to do what they want. They will warn you, plead with you, and even guilt trip you into doing something that you don't want to do or going somewhere that you don't want to go. Don’t cave and don’t let them make you feel bad.
If your family members are being verbally aggressive, try using the "broken record" technique by repeating the same thing over and over again in an even tone without getting emotional or defensive.
This will help them realize that they are not getting through to you. It should also give them a hint to stop acting that way.
Learn easy stress management skills to help you cope with those particularly difficult times.
When you're feeling stressed, it can be hard to think clearly and make the right decisions. Stress can take a toll on your physical and emotional health, as well as your relationships with others. However, here are some simple skills you can use for those highly-stressful times:
Create a routine: Having a daily routine during the holidays can help you manage your stress levels when you’re with those difficult family members. It will be easier for you to maintain your focus and energy throughout the day if you have a set schedule that you follow during the season.
Take care of yourself: You should take care of your physical, mental, and emotional well-being by eating healthy food, exercising as often as you can, taking breaks from work, getting enough sleep, spending time with people you love, etc.
Talk to someone about what is bothering you as this can help reduce anxiety and feelings of isolation.
Limit the amount of time you spend on social media sites like Facebook or Instagram because they can be addictive and make it hard to focus on anything else.
Take up meditation to learn how to become more mindful when navigating difficult situations.
Meditation is a practice of bringing your attention to the present moment. It helps you overcome negative thoughts and emotions by increasing your self-awareness. With increased awareness, you can learn to accept and be at peace with what is happening at the moment. It will also help you to remain calm and level-headed.
Practice patience and try to be understanding of the other person’s perspective.
The other person may feel like you are not listening to them. Listen to their perspective, and try to understand where they are coming from so they feel heard. It may be that the two of you have different ideas about what has happened, or what should happen next.
Do not get into a discussion about who is right and who is wrong.
Just move on--whether it’s to another conversation with a different person or changing the topic with the one who was arguing with you.
Be aware of your emotions and how they could affect your mood and decisions.
Emotions are a powerful force that can affect your mood and decisions. It is important to be aware of them and how they might affect the mood of your family during the holiday season.
Keep the conversation focused on the person and avoid bringing up old arguments.
It's important to avoid bringing up old arguments. This can be hard during a heated conversation, so here are a few tips to help you stay on track.
Let go of the past.
Don’t point fingers and place blame on others.
Listen to what the other person is saying and try to empathize.
Strive to come up with a resolution with the other person.
Be respectful to the other person.
Communicate your needs and boundaries with all family members in a direct, assertive manner.
Communicating boundaries can be difficult, but it is necessary for healthy relationships. When someone becomes too controlling or starts to threaten your mental health and well-being, it is important to communicate what you’re willing to tolerate clearly and candidly.
When it comes to setting boundaries, it is important to keep in mind that you are not obligated to do anything for anyone else.
You have the right to say “no” and be respected for your decision. If someone pushes you past your limits, then you need to set a boundary and tell them that they cannot behave in such a way with you anymore.
Find out what your triggers are and avoid them.
In order to keep cool and remain under control, you must identify what triggers your frustration or irritation and learn how to avoid these things. The best way to find out what triggers you is to write down a list of all the things that make you feel this way.
Don't get drawn into a debate about politics, religion, or other topics you know will only lead to anger and frustration on both sides.
Try to focus on movies or television shows that were just released. This will help keep the conversation light.
Maintain healthy relationships outside of your family.
Stay in touch with colleagues and friends. Keep in touch with friends and colleagues to reduce stress and have fun. Plan an evening out on the town or take a vacation with your friends. This will help you get re-energized.
Don't apologize for things that aren't your fault.
The phrase “I’m sorry” seems to be the go-to phrase for any situation these days. It has become a complete cliche to say sorry when someone bumps into you, but there are many other instances where people apologize when they are not at fault. When apologizing becomes a habit, it comes across as inauthentic and insincere.
Try to have a positive mindset throughout the holiday season.
Remember, the holidays are only temporary. They will end soon enough and then you will get back to your regular life. Here are some tips to help you develop one:
Keep a journal of all the things you are grateful for.
Write down everything you accomplished in the day and what you learned from it.
If you're feeling down, think about what made you happy in the past and how it can make you happy again.
If someone is being disrespectful towards you, you can tell them that their behavior is not appropriate and you will not tolerate it.
Stand up for yourself and let them know you won’t deal with them.
Try to enjoy yourself when you do spend time with your friends and family this holiday season instead of worrying about what might go wrong during your visit or what might happen next year.
Focus on the now.
Passive-aggressive behavior can be very frustrating to deal with and can cause serious problems in a relationship.
It is important to know the causes of passive aggression and how to deal with it. Such behavior may be caused by feelings of anger, resentment, or frustration that are directed at you rather than the other person. It can also be caused by feelings of helplessness or a sense of being overwhelmed. The best way to deal with passive aggression is by acknowledging that this person has these feelings and needs help to get them out in a healthy way. Listen carefully to what they have said and try not to take it personally. If you believe that there are unresolved issues, then try talking about them calmly to prevent escalation.
Final thoughts:
The holidays are a time for family and friends to reconnect. For some people, this time of year is also the most stressful time of year. If you're one of those people who finds themselves in the middle of a difficult conversation with an aggressive or hostile family member this holiday season, these tips will help you set boundaries and make peace with your decisions.
