Do you ever feel like there aren’t enough hours in a day? Do you sometimes wish you could have a holiday away from your life? Balancing personal life with work is challenging enough when you don’t have any other responsibilities but it’s even more difficult when you’re raising a family. In this article, you’ll find out how to make sure that you have time to complete your duties, be with your family and take care of your needs too.
What is Work-Life Balance and Why Does it Matter?
In simple terms, work-life balance involves prioritizing both your professional and personal life. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you devote an equal amount of time to your job responsibilities and self-care but that you can complete your tasks at work and then have the energy to take care of yourself too. Some days you’ll have to work longer hours and that’s okay.
If you maintain a good work-life balance, you’ll know that you have to treat yourself to more ‘me-time’ than usual when you have the chance to make up for it. Similarly, you’ll know when to prioritize work and when to prioritize spending time with your children.
So why should you care about work-life balance?
One of the most important benefits of having a work-life balance is that it allows you to keep stress at bay. If you work all the time without putting aside time for doing something enjoyable, the stress will eventually affect your performance and might result in burnout. Similarly, the more relaxed you are, the more productive you can be, and the easier it will get to make some time for yourself and your family.
Additionally, being a busy parent might affect the bond you have with your children and prevent you from spending quality time with them. This might potentially cause problems in their adulthood, such as low self-esteem and difficulty forming close relationships.
Tips on Balancing Life with Work While Raising a Family
Maintaining a good work-life balance is essential to keeping yourself and your family healthy but isn’t a piece of cake. However, the good news is that it’s possible to have a fulfilling professional and private life, and here’s how.
1. Analyze your current work-life balance
When you’re a working parent, it’s natural to want to spend more time with your children and put a lot of pressure on yourself to do it all. However, it’s also common to overestimate your abilities and judge yourself too harshly. Before you start making adjustments to your schedule, evaluate your current work-life balance and consider if a drastic change is realistic.
It’s always possible to make some improvements but avoid setting goals that are too high. Sometimes we already do all we can and trying harder will only make us more exhausted in the long run. However, if you feel like you’re constantly too tired and struggle to fulfil your personal and professional duties, it’s a sign you need to pay more attention to your work-life balance.
2. Let go of feeling guilty
Parents who work full-time often struggle with a feeling of guilt because they can’t devote as much time to their children as they’d like to. But the thing is, a part of raising a child is making sure there’s enough food to put on their plate or being able to afford childcare so you shouldn’t be too harsh on yourself if your job consumes most of your time. Sure, this article is to help you balance your work and private life a bit better but unless you’re self-compassionate towards yourself, it will be difficult to take that first step.
So the next time you feel like judging yourself, take a deep breath and remind yourself that you’re doing everything you can. You can also choose a mantra that you can repeat to yourself daily, such as ‘I’m good enough’ or I’m doing just fine’. With enough practice, you’ll soon believe it. And if your children are old enough, it’s always a good option to ask them for feedback. Your children need time for themselves too and don’t necessarily want to be around their parent every day.
3. Negotiate a more flexible work arrangement
If you’d like to devote more time to your family, it’s worth speaking to your employer and discussing the possibility of working from home. This kind of arrangement is especially beneficial if you have children who aren’t school age yet because it means that you could be taking care of them while working or playing with them while taking breaks. If working remotely isn’t an option, it might be a good idea to consider having your hours reduced, as long as your budget allows it. This way you could keep your job but devote more time to bonding with your kids.
4. Share responsibilities with your partner
If you have a partner, it’s important to discuss the current situation and share your worries with them. A lot of mothers might feel like it’s on them to fulfill the majority of home and family-related duties, but this doesn’t have to be the case. Plenty of parents raise their children outside of traditional gender roles and there’s nothing wrong with that.
On the contrary, it’s often more efficient to divide duties depending on each parent’s work responsibilities as that way you can make sure that your children receive enough attention without one of the parents overworking themselves in the process.
5. Ask your family for help
When things get tough, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Being a parent is like having another full-time job so don’t be ashamed to admit that you’re struggling – everyone does at some point. It’s also worth agreeing on an emergency plan in case your children have to be picked up from school earlier than expected or if you need to cover someone at work. Remember that your children won’t hate you just because you occasionally let them stay with their grandparents – quite the opposite, it will be healthy for them to bond with other family members.
6. Evaluate your working style to make room for better work life balance
Take some time to analyze your daily duties and your working style. Consider if you could be more efficient by taking more frequent breaks, minimizing distractions, or breaking down your goals into smaller chunks. You might also realize that you’re able to get more done if you do the most difficult tasks first instead of the easiest ones or the other way round. It’s worth experimenting with different approaches to find the one that allows you to be the most productive and present in your children’s life without neglecting your mental health.
7. Don’t forget to take care of yourself
As you’re trying to juggle work and family responsibilities, it might be difficult to remember that you have to take care of yourself too. Think of it this way; if you’re constantly tired and neglect your needs, you won’t have enough energy to do any of those things – as the saying goes, you can’t pour from an empty glass.
To learn how to prioritize your wellbeing more, introduce self-care activities to your routine step by step. For example, when you’re on the way from work, try to take some deep breaths and put thoughts about work and family aside. You can also play an audiobook or guided meditation to help you relax and separate your professional and private life. Additionally, remember to treat yourself after a challenging day; eat your favorite meal, have a hot bath, or read a book – even if it’s just a few minutes' break, it can do wonders for your mental health.
8. Learn to say no to activities that don’t serve you
Now that you know what your priorities are, it’s time to learn the art of saying no. It doesn’t come easy to most people because they’re afraid of confrontation and worry that their relationships will suffer. But whenever a coworker asks you for a favor or whenever a new job opportunity arises, remind yourself that outside of the usual working hours, your priority is your family life.
Additionally, think of all the benefits that come from being assertive: more time for yourself, increased self-worth, and less stress, which can help you perform better at work. It’s a win-win!
9. Schedule monthly dates with your partner
Having a poor work-life balance might negatively affect your relationship and no amount of quality time with your children will make them happy if you aren’t. Try to plan a monthly date with your partner away from all the responsibilities and make it your goal to simply focus on each other and strengthen your emotional connection. When you have to go to work and raise children, it’s easy to stop prioritizing your relationship but remember that you are partners and the more you cooperate, the easier it will be to maintain that work-life balance.
10. Combine chores with quality time
Depending on your kids’ age, it’s a good idea to get them involved in doing some of the household duties. For example, you can make it a part of your daily routine to clean the house together while playing their favorite music or talking about their day. You can also have them do their homework in the kitchen while you’re preparing dinner. This way you can combine your responsibilities with raising your children and bonding with them.
11. Don’t try to be perfect
It's unrealistic to be always at your best. Let go of that part of yourself that strives to be productive at work and then spend the rest of the day with your children while squeezing in some me-time. While it all sounds good, it’s not realistic and you should focus on being more flexible with your priorities.
For example, when your children need help with homework, that’s when you should postpone household chores but when you need to work longer hours at work, it’s okay if you don’t feel like playing boarding games with your family when you get home. You can always make up for it later.
12. Consider a digital detox
If you feel like you’re constantly running out of time, spending too much time online might be at fault. Even though you might not scroll for hours, it’s possible that you still use your phone for longer than you’d like to. Try to set yourself a time limit and only use electronics for an hour or so per day. This way you’ll kill two birds with one stone; you’ll be less tired and have more time to spend with your family.
13. Consider the impact of your job on other aspects of your life
Maintaining a work-life balance is extra challenging if you don’t like your job. As long as you do something you enjoy or at least don’t mind, you can approach tasks with positivity and still be willing to take time for yourself after work.
On the other hand, if your job drains you, there’s no amount of self-care that can give you enough energy to spend time with your family and remember to fulfil your needs on top of that. If you feel exhausted all the time and fear going to work, it might be time to consider a career shift. This option isn’t for everyone, especially if they’re the only ones raising their children, but might be the reason they’re struggling in the first place.
14. Plan fun activities
If you work full-time and find it difficult to spend quality time with your family most of the days, don’t worry too much. You can always make up for it by planning fun weekend activities. They don’t have to be anything too pricey or exciting as long as they aren’t a part of your children’s daily routine.
For example, you can take them to the zoo, go on a hiking trip, visit a funfair, or watch something at the cinema. The key is giving your children undivided attention and having a break from your responsibilities at the same time.
