Easy and Effective Ways to Shift Your Mindset to ‘Work Mode’ after Taking Time Off or Returning from a Vacation

Adjusting to your mindset to your work schedule after taking time off from work or from a vacation may seem impossible but it isn’t as hard as you think.

We have all been there. We are on vacation, enjoying the sun, the sand, and the water. And then it happens: we realize that we have to return to work in the near future. The feelings of panic and dread start to creep in, and our mind starts to race with thoughts of how much we will be missing when we are away.

But what if we told you that there is an easy way to shift your mindset back into work mode with ease? Here are simple tips to help make the transition back to work easier after taking time off or from your vacation:

Adjusting back to your work schedule:

Create a morning routine that includes things you enjoy doing, such as reading your favorite book or writing in your favorite journal.

Day by day, let your morning routine evolve to include things that you enjoy doing. These tasks can give you a sense of accomplishment and they also help to regulate your mood, thoughts, and emotions. For many people, morning routines consist of waking up at the same time every day, eating breakfast together as a family, reading, exercising, or getting ready for work.

Shifting your vacation mindset to a working mindset:

Get up early to set the right tone for the day.

Getting up early has many benefits. It can help you set the right tone for the day. It can also help you be more productive, lead to more success, and make you feel better overall. Plus, it is much easier to get things done when there are fewer distractions and it's still quiet outside.

Planning your schedule ahead of time:

Set yourself up for success before you leave.

Prepare to make your return easier to work after your vacation. Clean your desk, draft your away email message, sign off to colleagues, and complete all important work-related tasks to make the transition back to work less stressful. My tip is to prepare two days prior to your time off or vacation and then let it go.

Easing into your daily routine:

Get back into the swing of your schedule gradually.

Check email or listen to your voicemail for no more than 30 minutes one to two days before going back to the office. Doing some work ahead of time can help mange your return to work blues or feeling overwhelmed. 

What not to do:

Do not spend hours going cleaning up your inbox. Just do enough to where it helps you feel prepared and eases you back into work life.

Spending time with others outside of work:

Schedule coffee breaks or lunches with colleagues or after work dinners or happy hours with friends.

Coffee breaks and lunches are great ways to relieve stress. They provide a chance to take a break from the computer, have some food, and talk with colleagues.

Coffee breaks and lunches can also be used as an opportunity for you to share your ideas or discuss projects. The benefits of these meetings are that they give you time to relax, which is important for your creativity.

Making your schedule more bearable:

Run small errands after you return from your time off.

The idea of doing small errands after returning from your time off is a great way to not feel overwhelmed when you come back from vacation or a break. By doing small tasks every day that take fewer than 10 minutes, you are able to get back into work mode and get things done quickly.

Feeling rested and relaxed:

You've just come back from a long vacation.

You're refreshed, ready to take on the world! But it's also important to take care of your physical and mental health.

It's so easy to get caught up with all the things that need to be done and neglect your personal health. You need to take time for yourself, even if it's just a couple minutes a day. Make time for exercise, sleep, and healthy food choices. All these things can help you feel more energized and give you the motivation you need to keep going.

Scheduling your workday:

If you can, structure your work schedule according to your preferences to help you get back into the swing of things.

Whether you prefer a lighter schedule on your first day or a packed one full of meetings, if you have control over your schedule, think about how you want your re-entry to look. Planning your day according to your preferences will help make adjusting back to work easier. It will help you stay focused and productive throughout the day.

Getting on your pre-vacation sleep schedule:

Return to your usual bedtime routine at least two days before you return to work.

It can be hard to get back to a regular sleep schedule after a vacation or break. If you usually go to bed at 10pm, but on vacation are staying up until 1am, you don't want to set yourself up for feeling extra tired on your first day back. Getting good quality sleep will help you not only feel more rested upon your return, but it helps regulate your mood. Better sleep means better mood!

Spending time how you want:

Make your last day before you return to work a fun one.

Spend the last day of your vacation or time off however you want and with whomever you want. Relax and don't leave the house. Go out for one last meal with friends or cook at home. Spend time with family, read a book, binge watching Netflix, or enjoy some quiet time. The point is to plan your last day to be restorative, so you feel re-energized and refreshed when you return to work.

Knowing it’s fine to feel a little anxiety:

It's okay if you are feeling nervous or stressed about returning to work.

Vacation or time off blues do exist. To help transition back into the workplace, consider giving yourself a break before returning to work by joining in on a project that is lower stakes than your typical work-related tasks. But do your best to plan to make your transition back to work go as smoothly as possible.

Exercising to cultivate a positive mindset and feel good physically:

Take a walk before starting your day so that you can clear your head and start it feeling refreshed.

A walk before starting your day can be the perfect way to clear your head and start it feeling relaxed and rested. This is because it gives you a chance to take a break from your hectic life and focus on yourself. When you walk, you can also think about what is important in life and how to live it in a better way. Taking a break from your busy life is not only healthy for your mental health but also for your physical health.

It is also important to ensure that you return from vacation with a clear inbox. If you return to an overflowing inbox, you will quickly become overwhelmed. This can lead to important messages being missed and tasks not being completed. Additionally, it will take a significant amount of time to get back on track, which can take away valuable time from your day.

Taking breaks to reset your motivation and productivity:

Set an alarm on your phone for every hour to remind yourself that it is time to take a break.

The best way to avoid feeling burnt out or exhausted after a vacation is to set an alarm on your phone for every hour. This will help you know that it is time to take a break and stop working. This will also help you from getting distracted by your phone and losing focus on whatever tasks you’re working on at the time.

Focusing on old tasks first: Don't start anything new until you've dealt with all the older tasks.

Work-related tasks may seem as if they are ever-growing, so it's easy to feel overwhelmed when you try to tackle everything on your to-do list. So, instead of starting something new, you may want to look over all the old tasks and prioritize your next steps. Sometimes, tackling the last few items on your to-do list will free up time and energy to work on something new!

Experimenting with various productivity techniques and time management strategies:

How to pick the right one for your mindset and work style.

There are many ways to increase your productivity. One of the most common ones is to try and get into a routine. It doesn't matter what routine you choose as long as it suits your needs. The key is to keep at it and not let yourself get distracted.

Here is a list of some of the most popular time management and productivity techniques that work for different personalities. Pick one that aligns with your mindset and work style.

· The Pomodoro Technique: This technique splits up work into intervals with breaks in between them. The idea behind it is that frequent breaks can improve mental agility and reduce stress and overwhelm. Take a five-minute break after every 25 minutes of work to improve your focus.

· The Eisenhower Box: This technique is used to prioritize tasks and organize them into four quadrants based on urgency and importance. There are four quadrants in the box: Urgent and Important Tasks, Important but not Urgent Tasks, Not Important or Urgent Tasks, and finally Unimportant but Urgent Tasks.

· The Seinfeld Method: This method is based on the idea that most tasks require very little time to complete, but people often spend too much time on them. Through this technique, people identify tasks that can be done in less than two minutes and then do them immediately. This minimizes the amount of time spent on these tasks and frees up more time for other activities.

· The Kanban Box: This is a card-based visual system to manage workflow and tasks. Kanban boards are usually made up of three columns: To do (In Progress), Doing (Work In Progress) and Done (Completed). The board can be divided into four quadrants: Backlog (items waiting to be done), Current Workload (items being done now), Completed Workload and Future Workload.

· The List Method: This method is where you make a list of what needs to be done in order from easiest to hardest task. The method also is an easy way to stop procrastinating. Sometimes, it's helpful to focus on what needs to be done rather than why you're not doing it.

· The Time Blocking Method: This is a technique that can help you to manage your time more efficiently. Some people use time blocking to schedule their work. For example, they might decide to spend three hours on a project each day and then move on to something else. Others might use it as an opportunity to set aside specific times for certain tasks, such as exercising or catching up with friends.

· The “Don’t Break the Chain” Technique: The “Don’t Break the Chain” technique is an easy tool to help reach your goals. It is a way of tracking your progress with small, manageable tasks in order to create a habit. The goal is to avoid breaking the chain of consecutive days that you complete your desired task. This can be anything from going for a walk every day, drinking water every day, or writing one page of a book.

· The “Inbox Zero” Technique: This technique involves organizing your email inbox so that it contains only things that need action or attention in some way.

· The GTD (Get Things Done) Technique: This technique requires you to create an inventory of everything that you need to do. You should then organize your list into three categories:

o Projects – activities with a specific goal or outcome that can be tracked

o Actions – tasks to do to reach the goal or complete the project

o Someday/Maybe – activities that are not time sensitive but are worth considering at some point

Final thoughts

As you get ready to head back to work after a vacation, it can be hard to shift your mindset. So. it is important that you have a plan in place for how to do this so that you can be productive and avoid procrastinating.

How to Set Emotional Boundaries with Your Co-Workers and Boss

Work is more than just doing your job; it’s also about building relationships and learning how to protect your mental wellbeing in a professional setting. Unfortunately, not everyone is assertive or even aware that setting boundaries are extremely important. In this article, we’ll talk about emotional boundaries; what they are, why they’re important and how to start enforcing them.

What are Emotional Boundaries?

Most of us could benefit from a lesson on how to set boundaries. But first, what exactly are emotional boundaries?

An emotional boundary can be defined as an action to prioritize your mental and emotional wellbeing and the limits you set for yourself and others. It means that you’re able to separate your professional and personal life and not let other people’s emotions or opinions affect you too much.

Why is it So Difficult to Set Boundaries?

The reason why it might be so difficult for you to set boundaries might be a combination of factors. Most commonly, it might be due to the way you were raised. Oftentimes, women specifically, are taught to be obedient and pleasant, and being their own person might be even seen as rebellious.

People don’t like being told ‘no’ – even if you understand that setting boundaries have nothing to do with you and that it doesn’t mean the person who enforces them no longer wants to talk to you, it still stings and feels a bit like rejection. So similarly, you might struggle to set boundaries with others because you’re afraid they’ll take it the wrong way.

Additionally, if you struggle with low self-esteem and find it hard to navigate relationships due to social anxiety or a disability, you might be afraid to set boundaries because you believe it might put people off or even lead to a friendship loss. However, if you don’t set the boundaries you need, your friendships might still fall apart when you become too overwhelmed and resentful.

Why is it Important to Set Boundaries?

When you don’t set boundaries, you’re sending other people a message that your needs matter less than their level of comfort. What’s even worse, you’re sending the same message to yourself. At first, it might not seem like a big deal but if you avoid voicing your opinions, the feeling of resentment towards yourself and others will build up over time and might eventually affect your self-esteem and job performance. In addition, not setting boundaries at work might make you feel overwhelmed and being around people who don’t respect you might translate into a toxic work environment. In other words, a lack of this ability can make your job unpleasant and potentially affect other areas of your life.

How Do You Know You Should Learn How to Set Boundaries?

Sometimes it’s difficult to tell if you need to learn how to be a more assertive person; at first glance, it might seem like you get on well with other people at work and that you’re satisfied with the way your social life is going but if there’s a feeling of not being respected or good enough looming under the surface, it’s a sign that your needs aren’t being met and that you should pay more attention to setting boundaries.

People who struggle to set emotional boundaries, often fear that being firm might result in rejection or disagreements. If you’re afraid of being rejected, you’re more likely to engage in people-pleasing behaviors even at your own expense and agree to talk about other people’s problems even when it’s emotionally draining. 

Similarly, if you fear conflicts, you might ignore your needs to avoid angering others. However, it’s a common misconception that setting boundaries is synonymous with rejection. It’s just a way to communicate to others what you are and aren’t comfortable with and doesn’t mean you dislike the other person. If someone is offended when you try to draw a line, that’s their problem, not yours.

Tips on Setting Emotional Boundaries

Setting boundaries can feel uncomfortable, especially if you’ve always been a bit of a passive person but you can improve with enough practice. Here are a few things you can do to learn how to do it:

1. Remember that work relationships are different from personal relationships

Working in an environment that seems to be one big family might sound like an ideal situation at first but that’s if you get on well with everyone all the time, which isn’t realistic when this kind of emotional closeness is involved. Sooner or later, you’re likely to disagree with someone and find out that their views differ from yours or fall victim to too much gossiping, which might affect the quality of your work. 

Making friends with your co-workers or even your boss is great but make sure you don’t let the line between a friendship and a working relationship blur too much. The easiest way to do this is by reminding yourself to prioritize work when you’re at work. Sure, talking about other people’s problems might be more interesting than the tasks at hand but it’s not what you’re there for. 

Instead of engaging in another discussion, train yourself to say no. Obviously, you can make it sound a bit less abrupt by offering people a reason you won’t be as sociable anymore but have that word at the back of your mind to make yourself really commit to it.

2. Consider what your boundaries are by looking at your values

Taking on extra work isn’t necessarily a bad thing as long as it doesn’t negatively affect other areas of your life. To know what kind of boundaries to set, you have to identify your values first. Consider what’s the most important to you, your career, your family, or maybe your freedom? If one of your values is spending time with your loved ones, you might have to rethink agreeing to do overtime. 

3. Practice outside of work

Setting boundaries is daunting enough but it’s even more difficult at work because you want to do well and avoid straining a relationship with anyone. This is why you should get used to being assertive outside of work first. Consider if you tend to agree to social meetings even when you’re tired or if you get emotionally involved in every problem your flatmate is going through. Whichever scenario you’re guilty of, make it your goal to engage in it less frequently. 

For example, tell your friend that you aren’t in the right frame of mind to discuss their breakup with them or say that now isn’t a good time for you to meet. If you struggle to tell whether you want to do something because you desire to or because you can’t say no, try to sit down with your thoughts first. 

Close your eyes and observe what’s going on in your mind. Take deep breaths at the same time and notice any feelings and sensations that arise in your body. With enough practice, you should become more connected to your needs. Follow the same rule at work and be mindful of how things affect you. 

Does discussing your coworker’s problems bring upsetting memories from your past or do you feel glad that you can help someone? Does having a friendly chat with your boss make you uncomfortable or does it make you feel welcome?

4. Don’t make yourself available all the time

Modern technology makes work more efficient, but the flipside is that it often requires employees to be available all the time, even after working hours. This is great from a business point of view but a terrible idea if you think about long-term consequences such as burnout. If you tend to check your emails even after you get home or worse, if your boss expects you to answer their email any time of the day, it’s time to set boundaries for your own sanity. 

First, come up with an email that clearly sets a boundary and informs the recipient that you’d rather focus on your private life when you’re at home, such as ‘I will get back to you tomorrow during the working hours. However, checking your email can still be a habit hard to break so it’s also a good idea to set yourself a time limit on how long you can use the Internet and choose a window in which you allow yourself to check your inbox.

Additionally, remember to create a work-life balance and stick to it. Just because you have a good relationship with your boss doesn’t mean that you have to agree to do extra work. Consider if saying yes to new projects serves you in any way, for example, if it helps you progress in your career and then decide if it interferes with your routine. While neglecting your hobbies to do more work is okay from time to time, never neglect rest.

The same also goes for making yourself emotionally available when interacting with your co-workers or boss. If people in your office tend to gossip, you might feel like you have to join in to avoid feeling excluded. However, dealing with other people’s problems can distract you from work and make you feel anxious that one day they’ll be talking about you. It’s best to set boundaries from the beginning but you can also gently let people know you’re no longer interested in being as involved as before. Make it clear that you’d rather focus on work or that you simply don’t feel like having this kind of conversation. 

5. Develop a healthier relationship with criticism

We all make mistakes and it’s impossible to be perfect all the time, yet most of us tend to see negative feedback as a reflection of our abilities. The first thing you should remember is that criticism doesn’t mean you’re bad at your job – it just means that there’s room for improvement and you should take it as an opportunity to tweak your approach. In other words, try to look at it from a different perspective and see it as a way to grow. 

Secondly, make sure you ask the person you’ve received feedback from to clarify it. When you hear someone say that the work you did isn’t good, it might be tempting to shut down and be in a bad mood for the rest of the day but if you settle for vague feedback, you won’t know how to improve. 

Even a simple question such as ‘What can I do differently next time?’ can point you in the right direction.

Other helpful tips:

1. Don’t beat around the bush. Be clear about what your boundaries are.

2. When your boundary gets violated, speak up straight away.

3. Don’t give up when people ignore your boundaries and keep bringing them up.

4. If your boss or co-workers repetitively crosses your boundaries by initiating flirting or sexual contact, consider reporting them.

5. Remember that you have the right to feel comfortable in a workspace and prioritize your needs.

Practice Saying These Sentences to Yourself and Others to Become More Assertive

If you don’t have much experience setting boundaries, it might be difficult to come up with things to say that will sound firm but not come across as rude at the same time. So here are a few examples you can use:

"I am not able to help with that today. You can ask _ for help or I can look at it on _ day"

Thank you for asking but I'd prefer to not talk about my private life at work.

“I’d rather just focus on work instead of talking about this but we can always meet up for a coffee and discuss it then”

I am not able to talk about this today, but I can next week.

“I’d love to hear all about it but I have a lot to do today and I don’t want to fall behind”

“I can see your perspective but my answer remains the same.”

“Thank you for this feedback. I will think about what you shared with me and give you a response by the end of the week.”

Here’s Why You Should Learn to Manage Stress as a Busy Woman

Even though occasional stress is a part of everyday life, being under it constantly can have a negative impact on your health. And if you’re a busy woman with many goals and responsibilities, stress can prevent you from living the life you want. In this article, you’ll find out what causes stress, why it’s important to manage it, and how to do it.
Women should prioritize stress management even more than men

While there are partners who very much contribute to the household responsibilities, many women are left holding more of the work at home like cleaning, cooking, and raising kids on top of working on their careers is a recipe for chronic stress. No matter how good at multitasking you are, trying to balance all these responsibilities will take a toll on your health sooner or later, unless you learn how to manage it.

What are Other Reasons Women Tend to Be More Stressed Than Men?
According to recent statistics, women are twice as likely to experience severe stress as men and are more likely to suffer from its physical effects. [1] [2] While the reason behind increased stress levels in women is often juggling more responsibilities, a lot of studies indicate that the pay gap might also play a role. In many countries, female workers still earn less than their male coworkers even when they perform the same tasks, which can contribute to their frustration and cause tension within the workplace.

Another factor might be perceived stress levels. In one of the previous types of research, the findings revealed that more women than men thought that the quality of their working environment was low. [3] If you believe that your workload is too heavy and that your job isn’t good for you, you’re more likely to be under it.

Other causes might include:
"Toxic work environments where women can still be perceived as less capable by some employers which makes it less likely they'll get a promotion. Additionally, sexual harassment and sexism in the workplace create a hostile environment causing significant stress.
Reasons busy women might be stressed that are unrelated to gender include:
- Heavy workload – even if you love your job, trying to do too many tasks at once will eventually make you feel helpless and cause you to start doubting yourself.
- Job insecurity – worrying whether you lose your job and whether you’ll be able to pay your bills can affect your work performance and put you under chronic stress.
- Long hours – when you don’t get as much rest as you should, you might struggle not to think about work every moment of your day and end up having less time left for other obligations which further adds to the stress.
- Lack of job progression – feeling stuck in one place and not being able to fulfill your potential can make you worry about your future and increase the feeling of hopelessness.
- Unclear responsibilities – if you don’t know what’s expected of you, it’s no wonder that you’re stressed all the time. When your duties are outlined, you can come up with a plan to achieve your goals and know what to do to avoid making a mistake.
- Technology – the Internet makes it more difficult to escape work responsibilities - it’s tempting to check emails even after you’ve clocked out.
- Not having clearly outlined goals – if you have ambitions but not a realistic plan, you’ll struggle to see progress and achieve your goals.
The Impact of Working from Home on Your Stress Levels
Working remotely looks great on paper; there’s less noise, no one is looking over your shoulder and you can avoid dealing with your coworkers, all from the comfort of your home. Plus, you can wear stretchy pants and slippers all day. . But lack of supervision also means that being productive is more challenging, and working in your bedroom can disrupt your sleep. Additionally, you might be forced to care for a family member at the same time. If you work from home, learning how to manage it is even more important.

The Impact of Stress on Your Wellbeing

Why should you learn how to manage stress as a busy woman? Because you deserve to feel well enough to be able to juggle all your responsibilities and because you’re capable of doing amazing things, as long as you give yourself mental space to do so. Here’s how it can hinder you and impact your mental health and other areas of your life:

1. Poor work performance

While low levels of stress can be beneficial as they cause your body to release adrenalin that motivates you to complete a challenging task, acute stress has the opposite effect. Being overwhelmed all the time can make you feel helpless and translate into decreased productivity. 

You might struggle to make decisions, work slower than usual, and find it difficult to maintain focus, which can result in making costly mistakes. Not feeling well enough to work can make it impossible to achieve your goals and add to your frustration; you might start neglecting your other responsibilities to compensate for not meeting your objectives and worry if you’re good enough.

2. Lower self-esteem

When you’re mentally exhausted and take twice as much time to complete tasks as you used to, you might start comparing yourself to other people who cope with their responsibilities better. When you notice that your coworkers or friends don’t face as many problems as you do, especially if they’re in the same line of work, this can create a lot of doubts about your abilities. 

You might think that not being able to cope with stress means that your job isn’t for you and consider giving up, which in most cases isn’t true. Additionally, you might eventually develop a fear of failure; you might be afraid to start tasks because you know they take you more time than usual and that you’re more likely to make mistakes.

3. Burnout

Burnout is a state that is often a result of chronic stress. It might be accompanied by feeling empty, unable to cope, and experiencing a lack of purpose. If you feel tired and overwhelmed all the time, you might start to dislike your job even if you’d been passionate about it before and eventually dread going to work. However, the good news is that burnout can be prevented with stress-management techniques.

4. Neglecting other areas of your life

As women, we might feel pressured to constantly prove our worth because our gender still puts us at disadvantage in many ways. The more stressed you are and the more you struggle to be productive at work, the more you might pressure yourself to do better which has the opposite effect. This might also make it difficult for you to focus on other important things in your life, friends, family, and hobbies.

5. Not feeling satisfied with your life

Instead of recognizing that women often have to do unpaid labor, society encourages them to do it all: be a mother, a wife, and a businesswoman but without giving them the credit they deserve and encouraging them to ask for help and take a break. You don’t have to “do it all.” . And if you can’t achieve all those things, you might feel like a failure. When you’re stressed, this feeling of guilt is especially difficult to cope with: whenever you make a mistake, you might feel like you failed yourself and everyone else’s expectations of you. 

6. The impact on your relationships

If you’re in a relationship and your stress gets out of control, it can affect the bond you have with your partner. For example, you might snap at them more often, shut down instead of talking things through, avoid intimacy and even engage in passive-aggressive behaviors. Similarly, if you have kids, they aren’t just able to detect that you’re stressed, they can also become affected by it.

Physical Impact of Stress
Unfortunately, stress can also affect your body in a way that also has a negative impact on your wellbeing. Here's what you might experience if you’re under a lot of it:

1. Unexplained pains

Chronic stress isn’t a problem that you can just sweep under a carpet and forget about. The more you wait to resolve it, the more symptoms you might experience and that includes dealing with unexplained pains. Most people get headaches more frequently or struggle with back or neck pain. Even if your job isn’t physical or doesn’t require you to sit for long periods of time, having unexplained pains can cause a domino effect; it might make you overthink, worry about your health, keep you up at night and translate into less productivity at work.

2. Loss of interest in sex

One of the main reasons behind the decrease in libido is stress, which is unfortunate because sex causes your body to release hormones that promote relaxation. If you have a partner, stress might also make you less likely to be intimate in any other way and potentially cause traction in your relationship.

3. Disrupted sleep

Being under stress causes your muscles to tense and unless you realize the impact it has on your body early on and includes relaxation techniques in your routine, you essentially allow your body to practice being in that state all the time. This might make you unable to relax even when you aren’t working and eventually cause sleep problems, which in turn affect your ability to concentrate and attend to your duties.

4. Premenstrual problems

Even if you’re one of those lucky women who don’t experience mood swings and a depressive mood before or on your period, being under a lot of stress can significantly worsen your PMS symptoms. Not being able to achieve your goals and be as productive as usual can make you doubt your abilities and discourage you from working.

Quick Stress-Management Tips
It’s never too late to take steps to improve your health. Here are a few things you can do to eliminate unnecessary stress from your life:

1. Outline your goals and adjust them depending on your performance
Ambitious people might find it difficult not to set the bar too high for themselves. If you want to avoid chronic stress, evaluate your schedule regularly and break your goals into smaller ones if you struggle to achieve them.

2. Practice relaxation techniques daily
It doesn’t matter if you choose to do controlled breathing, yoga, or any other physical activity if it helps you relieve stress. Make it a part of your self-care routine, just like brushing your teeth. Remember, regular repetition is crucial in making something a habit.

3. Be kind to yourself

Being or not being productive doesn’t define your worth and it’s okay to have lazy days sometimes. Instead of telling yourself you should’ve tried harder, congratulate yourself on your effort so far. You can always do better tomorrow.

4. Try journaling

Writing down your worries can help your clear your mind and stop you from overthinking when you’re trying to sleep. Try to do it every day before bed.

5. Build a support network
Talking to your loved ones can be a great stress reliever and help you become more resilient.

References:
[1] https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/brb3.497
[2] https://www.myshortlister.com/insights/workplace-stress-statistics
[3] https://www.skillsyouneed.com/rhubarb/women-workplace-stress.html 

How to Manage Anxiety in Social Situations

While some people are social butterflies, others find interactions nerve-wracking. However, it’s never too late to improve your social skills and become a people person. Learning how to manage your anxiety in social situations will help you enjoy your life more and open the doors to more friendships and professional opportunities.
Here are a few tips that can help you overcome social anxiety:

1. Master stress-management techniques

The best way to manage anxiety regardless of what social situation you’re dealing with is to regularly practice stress-management techniques. You’ll benefit from this approach the most if you combine two or more methods. For example, one of the most popular techniques is mindful breathing. To give it a go, put your hand on your belly and the other hand on your chest, then inhale through your nose so that your belly pushes your hand out. Exhale through pursed lips and repeat the whole process. Alternatively, you can try to remember to breathe in through your nose and breathe out through your mouth whenever you feel stressed.

Another effective relaxation technique is visualizing yourself in your happy place. All you must do is think of a place that is soothing; it can be an actual place or an imaginary world where your worries don’t exist. At the same time, try to engage all your senses and focus on what you can see, hear, touch, smell, and taste. Once you’ve gotten the hang of it, you can combine it with breathing techniques.  

2. Understand your fear

If the prospect of engaging in social interactions fills you with dread, you aren’t alone. Many people struggle with social anxiety to some degree; however, everyone’s experience is different. Some might simply feel nervous when meeting new people, others might get sick just at the thought of going to a social event and avoid leaving the house. But whichever category you fall into, you should start by understanding the way your fear works. 

First, think about the last time social interaction made you feel anxious and try to write down all other emotions you experienced such as fear, shame and so on. Then try to pair the emotions with thoughts, bodily sensations, and behaviors. For example, you might have been nervous at a party and your inability to interact with strangers made you feel helpless, evoked negative thoughts about yourself and caused you to sweat. Eventually, you decided to stay in the corner and not talk to anyone. Getting to know your fear will give you more clarity on how to approach it and eventually overcome it.  

3. Practice social interactions to help keep social anxiety at an arm’s length

It might not be what you want to hear but exposure is important. If you want to get good at something, you must practice it a lot, just like you would if you wanted to master a new language. Being social is a skill and while you might need more time to get there than other people, you can learn it.

So how can you get out of your comfort zone? You don’t have to force yourself to chat with strangers straight away or have conversations you don’t want to have. You can start small and give yourself a daily challenge. For example, you could make it your goal to smile at strangers when you’re out and about, then progress onto asking shop assistants how their day is going, initiating social meetings, and showing up to social events. This might seem terrifying to you now but the more you practice, the easier it will get. 

After every exposure, it’s important to reflect on it. Once you’ve completed a challenge, ask yourself, was it as bad as I thought? How did that experience compare to what I think was going to happen? What did I learn from it? For example, the more you interact with people, the more you’ll realize that people aren’t as harsh on you as you are on yourself and that seeing someone smile back at you might put you in a good mood. And even if you happen to do something embarrassing, remember that it all of us do at some point. 

4. Ask your friends for support

As you gradually learn how to get out of your comfort zone, it’s sometimes a good idea to reach out for support. For example, if you want to go to a party, you can ask your friends to go with you. However, it’s important to remember not to rely on this kind of aid too much because it might result in increased anxiety when you’re on your own and prevent you from directly testing your fears which is essential to overcoming social anxiety. Your friends should encourage you to get out of your shell, not speak for you or do things for you. 

5. Become a good listener

People who experience anxiety in social situations are focused on the way other people view them and how their bodies react (for example, you might experience trembling voice, sweating or stomachache), often failing to connect with the other person. So, if you want to distract yourself from feeling anxious and become a better conversationalist in general, you should make practice being a good listener. A good listener is someone who pays attention to what the other person is telling you about but also empathizes with it. Remember to visualize everything the other person is saying and respond with nonverbal cues, which can be as simple as nodding. 

6. Try positive affirmations

Imagine that you’re feeling disappointed because you’ve just failed an exam. If you’re not an optimistic person, your inner voice might tell you that you’re stupid and you’ll get nowhere in life. And the more thoughts like that arise in your mind, the worse you’ll feel. As you can see, your thoughts can influence your mood and your mood can influence your thoughts. Knowing this, you can manipulate the way you feel and improve your confidence by learning how to adopt a more positive mindset.  

The simplest way to become more positive and self-confident is by practicing positive affirmations. All you need is to stand in front of the mirror every day and repeat motivational statements to yourself for a few minutes. It doesn’t even matter if they’re true or not because the more you repeat them, the more you’ll start believing them and a change of behavior will follow. For example, you can tell yourself that you’re self-confident, friendly, and sociable and that people like you. Additionally, try to visualize whatever you say to really influence your thoughts.  

7. Try a guided meditation

Nowadays guided meditations are popular as they allow you to improve a lot of issues by simply listening to a voice and following simple steps. And, of course, it means you can find plenty of resources to help you deal with social anxiety. One of the most popular ones is social anxiety hypnosis by Michael Sealey that you can find on YouTube. As you can see in the comments, a lot of people swear by it and say that it helped them make a tremendous change in their lives. 

8. Pay attention to your thoughts

You might think, but wait, aren’t you supposed to silence the inner voice that’s telling you that you’ll make a fool out of yourself? The problem is that ignoring the issue won’t help you progress. Additionally, your thoughts might already be so automatic that you might not even realize you’re experiencing them and so can’t really change them.  

Whenever you feel anxious, try to pay attention to what thoughts accompany this feeling. For example, you might engage in self-deprecation: “I’m boring and nobody likes me” or catastrophize, “I’m feeling anxious, so I’ll probably fail this interview.” For every negative thought that arises in your mind, you should come up with a more realistic statement. For example, you can tell yourself, “I’ve been anxious many times before and that didn’t stop me” and that people will worry more about how they come across to others than whether they like you or not.  

Believe it or not, you’re your worst critic and people see you in a more positive light than you think. This phenomenon is known as the ‘liking gap’ and it’s supported by research. For example, in the study published in Psychological Science Journal participants were invited to have 5-minutes conversations with each other followed by ranking how much they liked their conversation partner and how much they thought their partner liked them. Most participants underestimated the impression they made on others which shows that people don’t judge you as harshly as you judge yourself. [1]  

Changing your thoughts doesn’t happen over time and takes a lot of practice. It’s recommended that you first learn how to be more mindful to become more self-aware of your mental state. You can check out our last article that explores what mindfulness is in-depth, but the general idea is to become aware of your surroundings. You can practice it by fully focusing on what you’re doing in each moment instead of letting your mind wander. 

9. Become your own cheerleader

Struggling with social anxiety can be very isolating as people who feel comfortable in social situations don’t understand how challenging they are to you. Even if your friends are supportive, they’ll never fully comprehend what it feels like to fail to navigate something you’re expected to be good at. Therefore, you should remember to be your own cheerleader and congratulate yourself on every effort. Did you smile at a stranger? Tell yourself that you did well. Did you manage to start a conversation? Treat yourself to your favorite food. 

You can also keep a journal in which you document every successful interaction and even the smallest improvement. Whenever you feel like you aren’t advancing enough or face an obstacle, you can read through your past entries and see how far you’ve come. This kind of positive reinforcement will encourage you to keep going and consequently boost your self-esteem. The better you feel about yourself, the less likely you are to struggle with self-deprecating thoughts and anxiety.

10. Think of creative ways to boost your confidence and manage social anxiety  

If it works, it doesn’t matter what it takes to get there. This doesn’t mean you should use alcohol or drugs to manage your anxiety but there are plenty of creative techniques you can use to become more confident. For example, a lot of people benefit from watching a TV show with a strong lead and drawing inspiration from their behavior. You don’t have to transform into a completely different person, but it helps to adopt some of the mannerisms and then imagine yourself that you’re the character whenever you have to interact socially.

Another thing that can help is listening to motivational music. If imagining yourself as a TV character doesn’t work, why not visualize yourself acting confident? Before any upcoming social event, play the chosen song and do your best to picture yourself nailing all social interactions. Combine it with positive affirmations for more effect. 

And if you enjoy a challenge, you could always sign up for acting classes. This is a huge step out of your comfort zone but can serve as a ‘shock therapy’ and help you get over the fear faster.  

11. Consider therapy to help manage your social anxiety

In many people’s cases, social anxiety is a result of certain personality traits and traumatic childhood experiences so professional help might be necessary to appropriately address the problem. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is the best treatment option for people who struggle with social situations as it involves making changes to your thought process and emotions attached to specific situations to eventually modify your behavior.

CBT recognizes that negative self-talk can lead to avoidance behaviors and gradually introduces you to anxiety-inducing situations. Even if you’re having success with some of the tips mentioned in this article, professional treatment is always a good idea. 

References:

[1] The Liking Gap in Conversations: Do People Like Us More Than We Think? - Erica J. Boothby, Gus Cooney, Gillian M. Sandstrom, Margaret S. Clark, 2018 (sagepub.com)